Paul Sheehan loses his stupid fucking mind.

I’ll be honest, if I open a youtube video and that little counter says 15 minutes, I usually close it right back down again. I’m a Gen Y; I have far more important things to do with my time. I might give it 30 seconds tops, and if it hasn’t captivated me by then, I’m clicking the Suggested Video with the best thumbnail.

So when a lengthy clip of Julia Gillard in parliament popped up in my news feed, no prizes for guessing I’d already started buffering a video of things exploding in super slow motion.

From the first 20 seconds I was enthralled. What a speech! For too long Abbott has flown under the radar of media scrutiny, seemingly immune to controversy while Gillard’s cops headline after headline of bad press. She simultaneously responded to the Alan Jones ‘died of shame’ comments and put a long overdue spotlight on Abbott’s sexism, and did both perfectly. I only wish she would show this strength of character more in public. To use a Batman quote: this is the hero Australia needs.

But it appears not everybody was impressed with Gillard’s speech. Paul Sheehan, opinion writer for the Sydney Morning Herald, took to his keyboard to label her words “personal abuse” in a convoluted article that, quite frankly, should have been culled at the first edit. Here’s a quote from his article:

After sending out two attack dogs, Gutter and Sewer, to do the dirty work, after hiding behind two political zombies, Insufferable and Unspeakable, to stay in power, after using the Minister for Innuendo and the Compromise-General to play the gender card, the mask has finally dropped away to reveal the driver of the politics of hate in Australia.”

What exactly the fuck is going on here? You might think that paragraph makes no sense because it’s been taken out of context, but you’d be wrong. It makes no sense because it’s Sheehan’s interpretation of a Rorschach made by a monkey smearing it’s own faeces on a scrap piece of cardboard. You can read the rest of the article here:

Gillard Reveals True Nature in Playing Gender Card

Which brings me to my main point: Paul Sheehan has lost his stupid fucking mind. Now that you’ve done the required readings above, I highly recommend reading this piece by Ben Jenkins, from where I borrowed the title of this post. It’s a brilliant bit of writing that summarises Sheehan’s article perfectly. I have nothing to add.

An Apology to Paul Sheehan